| Love or Instinct? |
[Jul. 14th, 2005|11:40 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | None | ] |
Been watching abnormal amount of Sex and the City, so I apologize if this is too Carrie-esque for everyone.
In every relationship, there is, what I would like to refer to as a "fight or flight" moment. It is the one moment, where your relationship hits a phase in which you can fight, and continue on knowing that you will now officially hurt the other person by leaving, or you can fly, and not risk the inevitable end. Cory and I have hit this point. today, while cleaning my room, I had on some music and was singing and dacing and doing my own thing, and inmy mirror, I could see Cory watching me with that look a guy gets when he realizes that he is in a relationship now for more than just the fun physical stuff.
Upon seeing this look, I freaked and went downstairs to get a Pepsi. I came back upstairs, we watched American Pie 2, and then fooled around. I couldn't get into it... that's a lie... I could, but in order to do so, I couldn't let myself focus on the fact that I was making out with Cory. I wanted it to be Danny... every kiss Cory gives me, I compare it to Danny, every look Cory gives me, I compare it to the looks Danny gave me, and everything that Cory says to me that I always wished Danny had makes my stomach turn itself inside out.
However, I have a theory... In zoology, we watched this video on this expieriment... they took 10 men, had them wear their shirt all day and get their scent on it, and then they took the shirt and put it in plastic bags. Then, they took 10 women, had them smell each unfragranced shirt and choose from the scent which man they would like to have as a mate... and all the women chose the provider... the man more suited for pro-creation, the man who was more into commitment, the man who could be a better provider instead of the man who liked to play the field, and the man who would slack off, and the man who was less likely to be a successful pro-creator...
So I am thinking, that my womanly instinct is kicking in and making me hold onto to Danny because he would be the better mate over Cory. Could it be my primal, mammalian instincts that are keeping me from moving on? Or is it Will's theory that women always want the asshole, the unattainable, the hard to get? I doubt it could be the person... Cory is nearly perfect for me in every way, and Danny, well, I just wish I was perfect for him. I have my furry purple sweat that I wore on Valentines day when Danny took me to see "50 First Dates" and I haven't worn it since. It still smells like him. And yes, I have been known to smell it.
I am beginning to think that the feelings I have for Danny are not emotional or mental, because emotionally and mentally, I hate him... I want bad things to happen to him. I want him to get an STD and to have his balls shrivel up and retreat into his bladder... but biologically? His scent attracts me. Too bad humans have other things to worry about besides mating. |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=92.1){kind=small}
calinewarkwc69's journal
